It's time for the Fall!

So much has happened since September 7.......we have had lots of family time, soccer, hurricane talk/prayer, and family issues with crazy emotions. I began reading a book I don't want to put down only so I can start it over again. It is called The Shack and everyone in the Christian community is reading it. It has such an elaborate use of imagery, I have to re-read lines to let them soak in and gather the beauty of the words that flow from the page. I want to loan it out, so I haven't been writing in it, but so desperately I long to underline sentence after sentence. One line in particular says "if rainbows talked or flowers growing made a sound, it would be the sound of her laughter". I replaced "her" with my boy's. Now, that is truth! Who doesn't agree that your child's laughter would sound like a rainbow or a flower growing. If you disagree, then Kiss My Grits!

Truthfully, I make this blog a sweet, fun page to share with family and friends so you can enjoy our life as much as we do. Our family dynamics have changed so much since my divorce. We don't always enjoy everything. Lives have been broken and our dreams, shattered. Through these dark times, we are holding on to Jesus, crying out to Jesus, and desperately seeking to fill ourselves with unclean filth to cover the abrasive cleaning we know we need. The Shack describes our ways and His ways, and our ways are so far from His ways. I can't even imagine. I really can't. One thought the book discloses is that of the past, present, and future. Yes, we all know we worry about tomorrow and regret, and hang onto the past, but Jesus is the present. He is the here and now God. I want to be the here and now servant. How do I train my kids this way? Help me model this for them. How can I teach what I don't even know? Friends and family, pull together to seek today's gift. I need my kids to do things different and I don't know how to train them. I want to be teachable, pliable, and humble enough to know I need all that God placed around me to take it one day at a time. I told the kids I haven't been on the phone much. The reason isn't because I don't want to be, but because I don't have as many useless words to say right now. I am tired of hearing myself talk about nothing, worry about tomorrow, or dwell on the past.

One last thing. An old friend called to tell me she received Christ recently. Her enthusiasm is very apparent and we instantly retreated to our childhood sister relationship we once had living next door to one another. We talked and shared the excitement God brings, and we both teared up at what her eternal life looks like now. Then, the dreaded subject of my divorce came up. She was confused on how I could be divorced as a Christian. After giving her the long of the short of things, I found my answer. I don't know. I am a sinner and I quit. I couldn't do it anymore and when I face God on the day of judgement, I will know for sure then, what the implications of this death truly were....until then, I ask God for healing and to grow my testimony in Him so that He would be glorified in spite of me. His grace is sufficient for me. His strength is made perfect when I am weak. All that I cling to I lay at His feet. His grace is sufficient for me........

Hard to update, but lots of thoughts floating!!!

OK....where do we start? Let's go back a week and talk about our labor day fun! Who doesn't love the water? We didn't want the weekend to go by without hitting the lake so we went to the clearance isle at the local Big Lots and bought a 12 ft inflatable boat. I know what you are thinking....wow, they got a boat! Yes we did. No motor, just four sturdy plastic oars that allow us to row till our hearts are content. The kids and I were pumped! We blew up the clearance item (only $7.50) and carried it down to the "beach". As I stood at the water's edge thinking about the safety of my kids around all of the boats, I thought we shouldn't row too far out. When I eventually got myself up in the boat after pulling the kids out into the water, I also dumped in about a gallon of water. We seemed to be okay on the weight limit, but who knew the holiday weekend waves would be such a challenge to row against!!! Needless to say, the harder we worked, the more this seemed less like an enjoyable day at the lake, and more of a blur in the hot sun watching all of the real boats with motors and stuff pass us by....I decided it would be best to allow nature to take us where it led....so we proceeded to allow the waves push us into shore in the opposite direction of our belongings right into a group of drunk Hispanic men past the point of belligerence. The boys didn't even notice and began slinging mud they scooped out of the ground using the old oars as shovels! Cute. Real cute. I begin to whisper softly and row quickly away, away, away, from this unpleasant situation....We managed to escape unharmed, had a good old fashion mud fight, packed up our stuff, and came home. You can't say that we don't go out on the boat!!!

This last week, Mema came to visit. I got in real trouble today at church announcing all my laundry was done and the dinner was cooked every night-they thought I was a bad host. They don't know my Mema. If I had given her nothing to do, she would have been too bored an wanted to go back home. She did some much needed sewing and was a great after school caretaker as I worked 12-hour days!!! Friday nights Toby Keith concert was a blast because I knew I could go straight home and not have to worry about the kids! I really appreciated all of her hard work. Although I thought it was one of the worst weeks for her to visit, it turned out to be one of the best. She was so helpful, it helped her. She needs to be needed just like we all do and she talked the entire time-no one ever asked her to stop! The kids and I are great at tuning things out so we didn't mind a bit. I am privileged and honored that my grandmother who loves the Lord more than anyone I know kept me up telling me the sweetest stories of her walk with God. This week gave me moments in time I will never forget. I love my mema.